Sunday, February 04, 2007

Love for Dummies: I need to live in Sweden.

Well even before expected I am writing this post, today I had my second and last date with this lady (let me call her tight booty :) ). I didn´t talk about her because in fact and as you know I am nowadays very reluctant to talk about my lovelife until there are at least some headings. First things first, I met this girl many years ago almost seven years and to be honest in that moment I used to like her a lot and you know how Fate is and I bumped into her again over 2 months ago. As usual I am not saying I had a crush on her, it was more like I wanted to see the way She thinks and based on that to know if the things will go farther or not.
We had a coffee about two weeks ago and She behaved so nicely with me over the coffee We were catching up with things and well She told me She was divorced, not looking for a commitment but open to listen to the proposals around, I have to say that for the first time in ages I didn´t even chicken out when She told me about her bad bad past situation (because I am in my understanding mode and mood, I understand how difficult is for people to try to re-start their lives not based on something or someone). I have to say that the thing that I got from the talk is that She was a loyal person and to be honest I always find that as a virtue.And funny but I was instead of afraid I was more like open to know her more and REALLY interested in her.
Today was our second quasi-date and the date was about to be at 2:30, She arrived till 3:00, She didn´t even apologize or said something, I was not angry but as you know When someone arrives early it is a way to say "I respect You".
On second thoughts, She apologized in her way telling me that the traffic was so heavy down where She lives (damn I was about to tell her that it was 2:00 in my house and raining cat and dogs with a hard hale and I got sharp to the place), but as I said I was in my understanding mood and I forgot about that detail. I still do not know why, I was about to decide the place to have lunch, and after some hesitations from my side (I hate to decide on places because I do not go out to restaurants so often), I forgot to say that I was saving some money to invite to a nice decent place, while going downtown I still do not know but the conversation was really awkward, for a strange reason the conversation became so vain, very different to the last one considering She was not helping asking me things to keep track on the conversation. We entered to that coffee place I like (a little fancy, not expensive but not cheap) and the conversation became smoother and a bit better while We were eating (I ordered a Fornaccio, that is a pizza without the tomato and a Tai that is a shake of spices, and She ordered a Roman salad, We shared the plates and I had a pleasant good time).
Probably the next part was my entire fault I have to admit it, but I really liked the way this girl was so I normally after some dates or when I want to make my mind about going straight forward or not , I normally ask my date about some topics that I find quite amuzing and gives me a perspective of what I will face later on a serious situation.
Disclaimer: What I am going to write next is not to provoke people, I mean to be honest I am quite happy in the way I think and also in my moral values, I am only stating how the conversation went on. I have a profound respect for self-decisions and opinions ( I mean politics, religion and self-preferences) and I always move my life in that direction of respecting or trying as much as possible to respect who you are no matter what, and well I brought into the conversation that one of my best closed friends is gay, He is a lovely man (I do not quite understand his decision in life but I can only say that I respect his decision and also that I respect him and care for him and the other people I have found with the same sexual preference, as my friend explain it to me, I do not like chicken but not because of that you have to stop liking me...right?, well maybe I am intolerant with only one type of people: The ones that do not tolerate or judge according to their religious values).
I discovered over my life that for me to be gay or not or to have a different religious status or political pointer do not really interfere with me to know you and see what a nice person you are or can be, I try not to label people because I do not like being labeled as well. Hmmmmmmmmm that became such a BIG ISSUE for her, She even told me straight forward that If She finds out that one of her friends is one of them She will immediately stop contact with him or her.
The enchantment dissapeared at that moment...
Damn! She freaked out and the conversation became zero, thankfully I was leaving to talk to a friend of mine for the next Lucha tickets.... I still do not understand, that means that I have to live in Sweden or Finland or Denmark to be understood?. I thought a lot to write this today but as you can infere this is also part of not finding a beloved one with enough self-confidence and respect to people and many of the girls in my enviroment are with the same fears or thoughts...that is also part of not opening up so fast because some people find my way of thinking harsh or difficult to swallow and it is becoming a big issue for me in love matters...or maybe I am in the wrong place?? as usual!!.
I like this girl but How in hell you can be with someone who is afraid to respect or understand!!

Will I continue seeing her? NO!!!

ps: I forgot to mention She is not a tiny toon (teenager), She is my age.

Have a great day!!



wondy woman said...

Oh god, Jesus! That was a lovely post, you express yourself very well and I agree with your point, and the point of your friend, actually - people's personal preferences should not affect your relationship with them.

I like that you can respect people's decisions without necessarily understanding or agreeing with them.

As for the girl. I wouldn't want an influence like that around me either, as you say this is a grown woman, not a teenager.

And also, you aren't doing anything wrong, from what we know of you your views are not harmful to anybody and so shouldn't be to yourself. You are a reasonable, warm, lovely man - and the Right Girl will see this oneday - I promise.

Heather said...

I am proud of your honesty and your integrity. It is not easy to put yourself out there with people, but please don't let this experience make things too hard for you.

You think just the right way. You should be happy to think the way you do, and it is very good for you to let others think the way that is right for them too.

Let this girl go. She is negative and not right for you. You are a smart, creative, talented guy. Soon you will find someone who can really respect all of those things and be perfect for you!

DADICUS said...

Congrats! it's a very lucky man who can avoind a train wreck by carefull questioning!!!!!
Think of all the frustration you just side stepped with one topic!!!!!

Keep this up and you'll end up a happy, HAPPY MAN!!!!!!