Sunday, October 24, 2004

Moving on something worthy

Well this day I do not even know what to say or think.
I am just back from the date or a bummer I do not even know how to use the right word, as usual I enjoy my time with her having lunch and talking about things.

Again She and her sincerity stroke me down.
She asked me ..What do you really expect from me?

I normally hate that question because that takes you to only one place.
Well I was telling her the truth that I was expecting nothing and everything at the same time, just because I had always thought that a person is with you till the person decides to be with U or not. As I understood last time We spoke She said that She would like to know me more (even from the fact she had a boyfriend), so I decided to open myself ( I do not normally do so but I really started liking her..a lot by the way!!)

Do you remember I wrote some posts before about not being harmed and try to block a low blow or an unexpected comment to affect me, well I do not really know now what and how to feel.

She firstable told me that She would like to know me more, while she is with her boyfriend, but she wanted to be crystal about something. Well She started to tell me that " I am a nice guy (terrible words If you expect a positive reaction ), and that She really likes a lot the way I am and think, but She wanted to tell me also She feels no chemistry or physical attraction to me..."
She also said something like She didn`t want to be responsible in case We get in a relationship and then realizing that the chemistry is not working enough... my point of view just a way to wash her hands of any responsibility..Well I know myself and I twisted her tricky statement."
I just told her that" in case We get together I wouldn`t be the one to blame on because If she is with me is because she is convinced if not do not even try"
I also told her "do not be with me just because I am a nice guy!!

Well as you might think it still doesn`t make sense what She said but in a friggin way I understood, I really got bummed specially because it is not logical to continue dating or trying to know a person If you feel just nothing for.
I mean I understood and almost kind of relate to her words because I normally interact in the same attraction factor and way I mean If do not feel nothing for a girl I prefer not to do anything, I mean why to play with feelings.
I gotta confess I was about to break in tears in front of her but I just put myself together and wait till the conversation was over.
She was honest is a very odd way that I do not understand yet but I won`t care to try to figure it out.

Obviously is now just a moment to move on, I am a little sad also because I know that I will cool off contact with her, I mean I won`t suffer never ever again.
Sadly ,I really, really like her.......Well the end of another chapter at least I closed the circle now.

I still do not know If I will be absent some days from the blog, I need some time to reagroup my inner force and check some real life stuff. I am not depressed or sad just a lot confused ..:)
and hoping to arrive with good surprises during the week..please guys any piece of advice will be appreciate it!!!...

Have a great day!!...JESUS ANTONIO

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