Sunday, January 15, 2006
Intervention: Turn within.
Okey I am back so let me try to explain what happened to me Yesterday!
Yesterday after classes I just said goodbye to the people I get along over the School and My friend asked me If I go out with him... so I told him that I would like it because We normally use the ride to catch up on our lives and chit chat.
I was telling him what it has been going on with Family and with my plans for the studies and the comic, and I mentioned him that My friend and boss could give me only 2 classes on the daily shift (I mean there were not enough groups opened this period,many circuntances around) so I told him that I would be really tight on my budget because I will only work in only one of my jobs to keep track on the studies.
Before getting into the topic I have to say that He is one of my best friends (Betzi you know him!!!)and I really know his perspective and point of view from What He told me , He really cares to what is going on in my life and I appreciate the gesture and the situation.
While driving He asked me "Can I ask you and tell you something...I mean do not get offended but there are some things I do not still get?".
I was saying "yeaph, fire up!!"
He said "So why do you still complaining, I mean you are talking you are going to be broke but that is what you want..aren`t you?"
Kind of harsh I have to admit what He said.
He continued "I mean For how long have you been trying to nail into the Comic stuff?"
"Since I was very young, 15 years and formally about 7" I replied.
He said "And... what have you gotten all these years? Are you making you living from comics?".
"No yet" I answered.
And added "But you know me this is more like a vocation, I do not see myself doing something else".
"If I were you I would start thinking in doing something else, or starting another thing from scratch knowing you won`t dedicate to Architecture not at least in the foreseeable future,am I wrong? C`mon be honest this stuff is really hurting you now because you are not consolidating anything, I mean nothing that I know... You have no house, not a secure job, face it If the school had liked to have you to be there there They would have hired you since long time ago but you are not part of the staff and what about your social life and personal one is just a mess".
I told him that I trust in what people tell me and one of the plans is that I would enter in the staff of the school as soon as I get my certificate but I also know that I can not base everything on that and that I was trying to get done with my studies also to close the circle.
He continued "I am not trying to make you feel bad but I mean what is the cost you are taking, I do not know what to say to your...stubborness or perseverance, If I were you I would have called the quits since long time ago, I admire you but I would not live or like to be in your shoes, You are consolidating nothing because you are basing everything about the future that is not even yet here with you...I do not understand you because you are so talented and You should be in another position and place...and besides that you are my friend and I do no want to see you Alone anymore as you have been all this time".
He also told me that the only thing I was doing is to perpetuate my adolescence that I was not growing up.
I replied "I am growing personally, and you know me I am not a materialistic person and I am so sure that I wil be rich but based on my work and my talent and that I am more than sure that everything is coming soon".
"So you still in No matter what?". He asked me
"Yeaph! I mean I have no plan B or C and I know myself I know I can do it"
After that I just told him I was going out the car because I needed to buy some tickets nearby, so He pulled over and took me in the next corner.
Poor him maybe He thought that I was sad or depressed after what He said, but no in fact.
I am reall strong and I really know I have a path, sad I can not make him be related to what I do because He is not me, hard to explain to him ,but I know my friends artists reading this can relate to what it feels to draw or write something the great pleasure of being creative and also knowing that I am more than confident to get into the Medium as I want and in the level of work to continue evolving, hard to explain to him the great steps I have taken over USA and Europe and that is just a matter of time, hard to explain to him that I really know the consequences of my decision and I know what it could be coming good or bad but in the overall I am more than okey.
I called this post Intervention because I really felt like I was in one of those interventions people do to drogadicts, in my case: a Comic junkie :) :).
The good thing about this is that has made me think more seriously about having an external plan, and to be honest I keep myself into the Plan A for now.
I am not trying to make You to patronize me or feeling bad about me, believe me I am really strong within and I know I have my own voice and eventually will get what I want, Obviously I would like to have everything sooner but I am taking the right choices for me, probably people who loves me and cares for me can not really understand.
Also I know that the important thing is not only to break into the top companies is more about keeping myself into having work for the next 20 or more years and to develop respect from the viewers, artists, editors and friends and I know I need to base that on my work and not on the people I know. Some friends and people who know me knows I never take advantage of a friendship it is harder but I know that someday my work will be in the proper hands.
Funny but I continue with my way to draw and accept assignments:I need to respect the person I am going to work with but besides that I need to love the writing (in case I am teaming up with someone).
I have now even more goals:
To break in
To stablish myself into a powerful voice so with the time to help people that will be in my condition now.
To help my teams of work to get into the same level I will be.
To gain the respect of my friends and colleagues with my work (My Writing and my Art).
To be part of the business, change and modify.
To get the stability for me and my future family and loved ones.
I also know that I honestly feel I don`t suck in what I do and that I can be Mainstream as many people comment about my work but I have also an internal voice, I want to be more deep into my work and explorative as possible and evolve, evolve everytime.
I won`t make my work to fade away or get lost!
I am sending this link to some great friends of mine to read this and some people I respect a lot.
So if you my friends are reading this and want to comment do it and send me a mail OFF or here as you wish, I really want to have as many perspectives as possible.
Maybe you are wondering why so many images this time...(I am trying to add some new work that you haven`t seen here and some images you have seen from work of mine in the past).
Have a great day!!