Love for Dummies:Don`t tell anybody!!

Ohhhhhh My God!! It has been ages that I haven`t talked about this, right?
Well, let`s get into the topic...You know who again sent me two mails a couple of weeks ago, and me.... the same way I do not see clearly her point of view and I do not give a shit!.
I saw her on Saturday and as usual I took my distance and continued talking with a friend of mine. I am happy I am making big steps in relation to that situation, I do not even feel sad or anything..so sad She provoked this.

Caramel Eyes no sign and well ......gone!
Do you remember the girl that was living away and even You( The kind June) told me to give a try to at least be open to the options.(Last time She was here We were talking about what We feel about eachother and She kissed me goodbye when I left her house).
Well She came back to my hometown and to stay for granted, We went out last Saturday and I had a nice time, I like the way She is but to be honest it is really hard to open myself as usual, We were talking again about the chances to start dating, well She was telling me She is afraid of losing our nice friendship and that She doesn`t want to screw things up as the last time that her ex-boy was extremely jealous and that it was a pain in the ass.
I was telling her that for me my main fear is to see how fast or slow I can open my walls and show her who I am, I mean I like her there is no doubt about it, and I really like the way she is with me and cares. I am trying not to have walls with her.
I decided some time to be opened to the options but I have to be honest as I was telling her I do not really know what is going to happen with us, that is my main concerning.
We agreed at least that no matter what happens (to continue the friendship or go farther into the relation) We will try to keep the friendship intact.
I have to say that I am a bit afraid to start something and then realized that I won`t be involved or viceversa that I will get involved.She also told me that She needed to solve a personal decision before talking again about the matter(I still do not know what it is but I can have my conjectures: She is waiting for a job decision or to see the situation with somebody else).
I will try to see how it evolves and to stop or continue as soon as I know how everything is heading to and tell her that also. (I do not know if this is kind of selfish.)
I just told her that I won`t stop her in any decision or plan She has, because I do not want to feel I am stopping her on doing something and She said "Likewise".

Is it wrong to keep checking my alternatives?
e.g. Today I was in a coffee shop and the waitress started flirting at me (nice petite brunette girl with a beautiful rack and smile) hahahah I do not normally do it but I responded back the flirting (I mean those kind of sights back and forth). I was honestly feeling flattered. After the coffee a friend gave me a ride home and a friend in common (a very nice friend and girl) tried to kiss me I didn`t but I was about to.
And some minutes ago I received the phone call of someone I thought was lost, and probably having a coffee next week with her.

Anyway I am trying to give myself the chance!

Great day to you!!!

JESUS ANTONIO

I have some news but tomorrow will be the day to do so!!!!