Monday, July 25, 2005

Love for Dummies. Kiss the Frog and wait.


I never Knew I Could Love Anybody Posted by Picasa

Love For Dummies: It was never meant to be together (at least not now!)

Well sometime ago since I left to Monterrey to the Wedding of my cousin I was about to say what it was new on the situation.
I guess I remember telling you guys that she called me to thank me about the flowers I sent to her, well the same Friday that I was traveling to the Wedding She called me to wish me the best on my trip.
When a person does that I have to confess that it really makes me have mixed feelings because You do not do that with a person that wants to be more than a friend.
When I came back on Sunday I was tempted to call her and let her know I was home (thing that I didn`t do because there was not a point to do so).
Monday came and I still do not know why (my heart knew for sure!!) and call her to her cell phone telling her that I wanted to see her on Wednesday.
She agreed.
Wednesday came and I waited for her, She was dressing in a sleeveless black sweater and jeans and her eternal ponytail, as a coincidence I was also dressing in black with Jeans.
We took a bus and went downtown and stopped in one of the benches near a church and We started talking.
This is the overall of the Conversation.
She said that She was missing me lots, that missed my voice and having someone to talk to and In a way I got some extra points and that She in her own way thought of me as a relation but not in the level that I needed or wanted.
She told me that there were days She loved me and days that not and that it was not fair for me, so She was telling me She was thinking of me but not as a relation and more as a friend.
In this point of the Conversation I have to say that I was really happy (not about the words She said) but more about that She finally took a decision sad it took her that long.
I guess that in a way I was more than prepared to listen to those words in fact I was feeling how a big loadof weight was out, I just told her that I was not really happy about the situation but I was happy to know now how to move and what to do.
She says She wants me around that She doesn`t want me to become a stranger or nothing.
I kissed her!! (I have to confess that the first time I kissed her I didn`t feel any fireworks or sparks around, probably because I was so dissapointed at her and it changed my perspective and the expectations, so well I decided to kiss her over and over in fact 4 times, I have to say there were so tender kisses and hugs and I still felt nothing after the kissing well not what I was expecting for.)
I have to say that I am thinking in becoming a friend or not, I just told her that I need time to recycle everything and think over.
I feel fine now having the circle closed I also have to admit that I do not know If I would like to open the circle again some time in the future when things become different, well who knows?...
I am now free and checking my options.
The only sad thing is that I really felt love for her... about now loving her(I do not really want to think about it).The only thing I know is that I closed everything and I am now changing my cassette and try to see her in another way.

Have a great day!!

JESUS ANTONIO

4 comments:

Sask 1 said...

Im sorry things didnt work out the way you hoped.Ive felt empathy for you over the months ive been reading your"love for dummies".
Hugs June .

antonio said...

Thank you dear June and you know you have been a nice shoulder to lean over and I really appreciate it a lot, every word you have said to cheer me up!!
I am sure there would be more Love for the Dummies post with new characters..damn to many frogs to kiss before I find the one :)...JESUS ANTONIO

Ubod_ng_Lumpia said...

I just hope the best for you jesus.. you know we will encouter these kinds if events in our life that will make us wuestion a lot of thinngs..

I hope you find out how you really feel about her.. and i hope whatever action you are going to take , will give you a happier life.. good day -- kino-- :)

antonio said...

Thank you Kino!!! I really hope so yesterday I went out with a girl but it seem that the girl was so vain taht it really took me down her way of being..such a wste of my time!!
btw I read about your exams,,I really hope You get better grades soon, remember school is the key word!!

I was thinking is it possible for you to get me one Buster keaton dvd intead of the Faust in case it is difficult for you to find it?
Grat day!1...JESUS ANTONIO