Monday, July 04, 2005
My yellow rabbit with orange ears.
Well sorry If this post is quite large.
As I said some time ago I am trying to put myself together and reorganize many things that are missing, and trying to think about it, I just found this photo of me (I have to say that in fact there are not many photos of myself,so I am trying to make a new custom at home and to take photos of big events in my life).
Sometimes I wish I hadn`t become this strange intelectual guy trying to overthink everything that happens to me, I have always learned to make meaninful things and suddenly I became this person who is enjoying to what He is and trying with all my guts to be more understanding about people.
I watched at the picture and for a moment I wish I were more naive and trust people more, now I am just this kind of defensive crust, maybe you wonder why I am talking in this way, Well happens that today I saw a nice friend from the past (We haven`t seen for about 2 years) and We were talking that since 5 years I have been in the same process, working full time to get some income to the family,to survive and also to get money for my goals(My comic book career and my travels), She was telling me that sometimes I am really hard to myself that I really pressure myself a lot, I wish I knew how to chill out, but to be honest that is just the way I was taught,discipline is just the way.(funny thing is that I never make people to be discipline is more about me I try to be better everytime as person, as a professional of comics in everything I do, I know I am really good in what I do in life and I want more.
She even told me that it has been hard for me to find a girl because I do not go out too much, probably She is right, but I am seeing that sometimes I am in another frequence (I guess you know what I mean), I haven`t found the right girl at the proper time yet :), people gets on my nerves sometimes because They always tell I am so childish in some ways but is the only thing I do not want to lose yet, the capacity to wow myself when I have or see something I like, or when they say that I am just a thinker and well I am learning just to please myself and be happy with the things I have and want...and I wish for more.
I need a very good steady comic book job and I am fighting hard to have it.
I imagine myself just writing,drawing, illustrating comics and art.
I want to stop giving classes or If I continue at least I want to continue not because I need the money to survive, I want to draw full time all day long all my whole life but I need an economical stability and I am working hard to get that soon.
There are some good things coming about comic work so stay tune, just keep me in your prayers as usual so you can speed up the things I really want to do.
This is just a reminder to myself to keep believing in myself and to remember what I was and what I am now.
Sometimes I need to remember to enjoy life day by day.
At the back is my yellow rabbit I said was my favorite some time ago. :)
Have a nice day!!...JESUS ANTONIO