Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Love for Dummies. No contaban con mi astucia.


Well something weird happened some minutes ago.
I have to say firstable that this story happened many years ago in fact around 6 years and everything is OVER since the moment it was done, but I just wanted to write down this to help people that had been in a situation like that and not to do what I did or maybe just repeat everything as I have done...who knows? At least I knew and learned a lot.
Well After breaking up with a girl I was with for over 5 years I just realized that she was not the ONE I was looking for so I just broke everything (and as for rude as it sounds I know I did the right thing..just a matter of not having the same plan of life).

A favor a friend is asking for me so in some hours I will write everything.
see ya later!!

3 hours after....
Well I am coming back from helping my friend to study by the way She also gave me something for you Nik..I ask her for something as a present to you...When you see it you will be amazed!!
Well I had to give the summary so you can understand in what moment I was 6 years ago, well I broke up with this girl (I have to say something here this ex-girlfriend is one of the finest person I have ever met in my life that`s why it was more difficult to face reality and see that our paths were really in differents ways..She would have never understood my decision of being a comic book author,simply it was really difficult for her to deal with that,remember that in my country to be an artist is the same as being a bump), well after her I started dating a girl that destroyed all the good elements and the beliefs I had about a relation, well this girl cheated on me and treated me like trash (normally happens that When you really love a person so much you do not see all the real situation till was over...well I overcomed this situation so long time ago but in that moment it really affected me a lot). Well all this summary to stablish that obviously I was really bad in terms of love when I met the girl that I am going to mention now and with the one I had one of the biggest lessons in some areas.
This girl is maybe one of the best girls I have ever seen in my life and not for her looks (I mean She is and still gorgeous, tall, athletic, curly brown hair, light brown eyes) but what I liked a lot about her was her way of being and her intellect She is the classical smartass,semi hippie always with that sour kind of sense and I have to say cold in some ways specially her reactions).
I remembered one day We just went out to have lunch and We had a great vibe it was so much that We started kissing eachother and well I have to say that She has been one of those girls that made an special space in my heart (I have to say I couldn`t open my heart so enormously because as I was saying I was coming from breaking up a very stable relation but lacking in love and also after going with a girl I love so much but I was never the important issue in her life, so I was in the defensive way with this girl).
We started dating for many times and suddenly when the things were about to get onto a different level She started with the confessions, She told me that because I was a nice guy She wanted to let me know that She was really affected by her last relation, I honestly thought that it was a simple broken heart emotional thing but not at all, in my case I was more than ready to go further in my intercourses with her and She just freaked out not because of me but more about her situation, Well She was infected of a venereal disease from her only boyfriend (guy I knew and obviously I knew He was infected but I never made the equation that She was going out with him in that time).
She just froze the datings , everything and just the romance faded away..... last thing I knew from her was that She was living in Mexico with her Dad and Stepmother, we had many conversations via email but it was always the case that We felt something really special for eachother but She didn`t wanted to affect me from her past wrong decisions.I gotta say that in one moment I really loved this girl, but She decided to go away.
June that is one of the reasons I do not believe at all about distances in a relation, but I am open to the situation NOW.
Well She contacted me today just to say hello via email, and well to be honest I know that the best thing for me is just to keep the future conversations and relation as cold as possible specially because she took her decision long time ago and now my life just went in a different way, I only hope not to be so rude and cold with my treatment with her,I mean is the same with you know... I do not see the point of starting something I do not want to start and finish in the wrong way.
I have to thank this girl because She put myself into her priority and I am healthy because of her, nothing happened between us sexually because of that confession, but I know that If She had been in a different circunstance She would have become of the greatest experiences in my life.
So my point is that with her I started to be clear to with what I feel and what is possible to achieve and to be extremely responsible for every decision in terms of deciding to be with someone as a relation, because people still think that past decisions won`t affect them probably not them but maybe a third person .....and it is not fair.

Have a great time!

The image is from the great Chapulin Colorado and his phrase "You didn`t count with my Wise move".

Cheers and as Annita says "Love and Cheesecake".

JESUS ANTONIO

1 comment:

The Old Lady said...

It 's good that you would be open to a relationship that involves a little distnce.It is only distance within your own country.I understand that past relationships do affect our decisions about new relationships.Just hope you'll be lucky in love soon
Hugs June xx