Saturday, August 20, 2005
Love for Dummies. Pissed off .
Well I promise to get into the third front soon but I really wanted to just take this out of my chest, probably and as usual I am over reacting and for sure making a big fuss about nothing.
Well today it was my last day of the course I was giving, I will start my new courses in about two weeks.
I had some lovely groups this time and in special that one where the second front is(Now I will call her Caramel Eyes...June I am starting to learn from you! :D ).
As a brief summary We agreed to have a coffee last Monday and well She canceled it because it was rainy (do you remember? right? ), She also told me She`d call me over the week to agree to see eachother over that same week...thing that didn`t happened.( Today I learned from what She said that was busy as hell preparing her classes and studying for the exam).
I was done with all the grading and all the group agreed to have lunch in a place near there and eat "Carnitas" (fried meat in oil and salty water, I need to say that I didn`t like the flavor of that meat at all).
It was really a fun time with everybody over there and also another teacher that I am starting to call friend because I am starting to know her a bit more was with us.After the meal some of the guys decided to play pool (thing that I haven`t done in ages, by the way money has`t been deposited on my bank account..well...).
I was taught by the owner of the place on how to hit the ball with the stick, and He was also glad to help the girls and Caramel Eyes was with us too and taught by this horny nice guy.
I have to say that everytime that passes I am really liking her, she likes to enjoy life a lot and well She was wearing a blouse with my favorite soccer team on it. She even has that kind of sense of humor similar to mine.She started telling me about her courses and how busy She was, while We were playing I was staring at her and just thinking and thinking mainly in how to react about asking her why She didn`t call me, I have to also add that she is having some kind of rapport with a nice guy (I am sure this guy also likes her), funny but when I see that kind of things I just blocked myself and the things I was thinking to do I do not normally do it.
Sometimes I am thinking that I am invading teritories that are not mine, I mean me a guy out of the blue trying to have a coffee with Caramel Eyes to tell her how my situation is, when a person says to do something and later on is not done I always get that feeling of "If she were interested She`d have already called or excused at least...".
Returning to the point while She was playing pool (gosh! she is really attractive) I was thinking about asking her again for the time to talk, but I agree to myself that It was not the right place to do so, I just decided not to mention anything about the whole situation and enjoy the time.
The teacher friend gave us a ride and I left first, I just kissed them goodbye (teacher and Caramel eyes) and left. I just didn`t mention anything and I do not know what to expect.
I am terrified in a way and it is getting for me harder and harder to speak myself up,because when as situation like this happens (The cancelation) for me means that maybe I am not even part of her Universe and I do not really want to alter anything, I really like Caramel Eyes but I do not want to deposit any feelings to her yet.
I feel now quite dumb .lost and my second chakra just hurts.I know myself a bit to know that I won`t call her or ask for the time to talk again,not for a long time at least.
What to do Dear Abbies? :)
Great day to you guys!.