Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Love for Dummies. Healing in gold terms.


Golden Tarot Posted by Picasa

Well I had a coffee with you know who, and to be honest I do not even know why I accepted the coffee. I was talking some time that it was really hard for me to see her as a friend and for a strange reason I continue feeling the same, I can treat her as a friend but it would be like lying to myself. Although I have that crossed emotion I wanted to try to see her as a friend.
I also made a division in feelings One thing is what logic says and the other is what my heart feels, I decided not to go out ever with her and not to become a friend. It would be just painful by now, I now that eventually I will become a friend but not a close one or not now.
I guess I wanted to prove my point and try to deal with the punches.
I feel something incredible for her but She doesn`t so well I hope someone else makes me have that same or a bigger feeling I had for her.
We were talking about my last 3 months with no contact (all the family problems,job and my feelings) and I really undestood that I am not important to her well to the point to see me as a Man.
I have to point out that I was not trying to ask her again about a chance, I never had the intention to ask, beg or return to a pointless situation.
I have to say that it is a big punch to my ego (Because as I said some time after what happend with her I really felt uggly,a dork and without personality..and I couldn`t understand that If I am a nice fella why I just couldn`t make her vibrate in the same frequency..She told me that I am not the problem that it was just that She couldn`t see me as a man and She was looking only for a friendship) and more than that I was sad that I just couldn`t make her feel what I am feeling for her. But as June has been writing lately :The things are or are not.
I just wanted to verify what to do so I am now taking my feelings for her in a little box and I will put them in a corner and hoping that that feeling goes away.
I feel fine I really thought it would be hard but as you guys know I was prepared since long time ago.
So well I am opening a new book and a new page and I really hope that the right one shows up soon.
I am fine today and tomorrow I will see what it goes with my studies I hope to have and find good news about it and well try to see what I can do and give to all the things the same priority.

About Caramel eyes and Cute girl no sign so for now I am resting my case. If something happens I will tell, but as I told a friend If one of these girl had been interested they would have already reached contact.

See you and wish me luck for tomorrow!!

ps:I really need a hug today.

JESUS ANTONIO

8 comments:

The Old Lady said...

your not ugly or dorky or have no personality.It just sometimes we fall for the wrong people.Getting over it i know takes time.
Many hugs to you
June

The Humanity Critic said...

cool post.

antonio said...

Thanks June, I am writing about what happened yesterday right after writing this..Thanks June!!

Humanity thanks for dropping by and say hello!..JESUS ANTONIO

antonio said...

your not ugly or dorky or have no personality.THANK YOU SO MUCH JUNE!!!It just sometimes we fall for the wrong people.THAT IS THE PART THAT MAKES ME A BIT BLUE AND ANGRY TO DEPOSIT YOUR FEELING IN THE WRONG PERSON Getting over it i know takes time.I HOPE IS LESS TIME THAN EXPECTED ;)
Many hugs to you THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK DEAR JUNE


JESUS ANTONIO

Ubod_ng_Lumpia said...

I agree with June here..

sometimes things aren't meant to be...

as the saying goes... "you don't know what you got till it's gone" -- It's her loss jesus....

take care... --kino--

antonio said...

Thanks Kino!
Thanks a lot!!
How have you been lately!?

Thanks again..I really hope She wonders what She lost...well :).JESUS ANTONIO

Lovely Lisa said...

I agree with June!!
Healing and moving onward, in which ever direction you chooses takes time and patience.
I love the tarot cards you put up on your posts...they are meaningful and passionate.

antonio said...

Kino and Lisa thanks again for your words it really helps to listen those words!
Thank you!!

JESUS ANTONIO