Friday, May 20, 2005

Love for Dummies: I finally did it!

Love for dummies :The One Soap Opera Man or I wasted my time or She didn`t care at all .

Recapitulation for the new reader.There is our main character Jesùs who WAS dating the little Lupita for 8 months and knowing She can not make her mind about accepting him, start dating other guy that is after her,return to her old love or being alone.
Twist one. Our Hero stupidly offered not to ask Lupita out for a while till she can have time for herself and decide about her life not about her love life, according to a previous issue He prefers to see her happy doing what She wants and just stand by her side to help.Our hero really wants her to be happy, even knowing the idea She has for hapiness is probably not the right one and our hero has to accept that If it is her hapiness our hero has to understand.
Twist two. Our hero is dissapointed big time with her and more to himself for not knowing what to do and try not to harm her .
Twist three:Last time our hero said " I mean it is obvious to me that it has passed 8 months, enough time to make her mind, so if She can not have a definitive choice I will just withdraw or at least stop seeing her till She finally takes her decision, I mean why to date a person you die for If the person is not really taking a decision on what to do )."
Twist four: I guess everything is over...

On a happy note before getting into topic an artist I admire a lot (He is in fact one of the 5 references I have in terms of my work) has send me a mail (very kind of him) that He has found again work in the Comics Medium and is really busy at this time. I will ask him to send me info to post when everything goes to the stands. I am so happy for him that I was writing every two lines WoW! in the email. :).

Well I went with her Downtown, We took the bus and She was telling how her day was.
This is the part of many that I do not understand, She gave me a little tiny chocolate candy with a toy inside, So I was puting it in pieces while We were in the bus.
We finally arrived Downtown and We headed to the Cafeteria, while We were talking I saw a friend of mine (girl) in one of the Coffee shops, so I say hello to her and hugged her, The girl I saw today I haven`t seen her in ages, She as usual hugged me in a very sexy way in front of Lupita, Yes, I got a bit nervous and introduced her to Lupita, Lupita didn`t know how to react and She block herself. Yes, the girl gave me her telephone number in front of her.
Anyway We arrived to a Cafeteria that prepares Crepas (a floured tortilla with stuffing inside), We ordered and She started telling me that She hasn`t thought of me in all this time in the way I want, (thing that I didn`t like), She says everything is the same that She thinks I am a "nice" guy but that She hasn`t thought of me in that way because She still dates the ex-love and another guy that is over her btw She still feels something for the ex-love.
After listening to that You might understand I and my tiny heart felt stupid big time.
Seems that the things I told to her she didn`t get them in the way I said them, I just told her that I love her a lot but...I didn`t want to hurt myself anymore.
So Well now the thing is as follows.
From now on I will stop any contact with her, I won`t go out with her anyday to take the bus together or invite her out,until she decides what to do, that means to treat me a friend or start dating me or what, and also told her that I needed also to consider after her decision If I really wanted to accept it or not. Hoping that distances make her at least see what She feels for me...I was devasted when I was telling her that and She was... well normal.
I didn`t cry in fact I was feeling like when you lose a battle that was never yours but you still do it.
She said She agreed, I was hoping in my little heart She would react or say something like " Yes, I have always loved you but it has been hard to me to say something.." Yeah , right never happened.
We finished eating and I took her to the next taxi available... I hugged without any intention to kiss her I mean what for.... she hugged me back and got into the car.
Suddenly when I was leaving...the Taxi stopped...for a moment I really felt like those romance flicks where the Taxi stops and the person has a second thought.

Well the Taxi stopped abruptly and Lupita left the Taxi yelling..




"Jesù have my books on your backpack"..

I really felt stupid, really stupid, really stupid.
Well I gave her the books and She left the place in the taxi.
Now depends on her but I guess you and I know the answer by now :(
And now I feel like crying...well Shit happens.. :)

Have a great day all of you!!...JESUS ANTONIO


wondy woman said...

Crazy, crazy girl. I hope one day she realises what she has lost. You stay strong because someone even better will be along and they won't need all that time to 'decide' if you're the one, they will just know!

Have a good day, Jesus Antonio.

Love Wondy x

wondy woman said...

If you are at all interested, Jesus, I have tagged you to do the film Meme over on my page...

antonio said...

hahahahah well I am much better today!! In fact I feel more stupid than sad.
Thanks Wondy!

Where art thou June? :)

I will write my meme tomorrow night of course!! thanks for the tagged..:) JESUS ANTONIO

Ubod_ng_Lumpia said...

so you did what you have to do..

i just hope she realizes what she id doing. i agree with wondy.. maybe there is somoene even better waiting for you :)

be strong my friend.. keep your spirits high :)

antonio said...

I will keep myself strong on this!!
sometimes when I am writing in the blog is well to have the spectrum of ideas from others to see If i am lost in life but also I do it because I have found as a graet therapy that after posting I re-read and re-read what I did and ives a prespective from a third way and I try to udnerstand How I work on personal stuff and funny to say but I have seen that are some advices and words from all you guys that keep me in perpective and makes me a better person....JESUS ANTONIO

Sask 1 said...

Im sooo sorry Jesus Antonio.Its hard when you love someone with all your soul but they don;t feel the same way.Then to make it worse we cant even forget about them.They keep filling up our minds when we have quiet times.
Take care.I hope your feeling better now.Your not a fool either.

antonio said...

Thank you so much for teh words Dear June!!...JESUS ANTONIO