Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Love for Dummies trying to get Smarties.

Love for dummies :Dissapointed with myself.

Recapitulation for the new reader.There is our main character Jesùs who WAS dating the little Lupita for 8 months and knowing She can not make her mind about accepting him, start dating other guys ,return to her old love or being alone.
Twist one. Our Hero offered not to ask Lupita out for a while till she can have time for herself and decide about her life not about her love life, according to a previous issue He prefers to see her happy doing what She wants and just stand by her side to help.Gotta confess that sometimes has been difficult not to talk about the matter, We are even talking about "cycle" to talk about it.
Twist two. I am dissapointed big time with her and with me.

Well do you remember She asked me to go out?. Well We did it today!! kind of weird because firstable I was feeling like crap, I went to the destist (two days in a road..yesterday I was so beated that I slept really early).
And well today with the anestesia I was really feeling bad, I read a mail today in the morning that She wrote the day before about telling me that If We could see eachother today!!.
I normally call her as soon as I see the message to her cell phone, this time No. I just wrote a semi cold mail telling her that I was ready but she needed to call me.
Well She called me at 4:00,asking me to see her, I was telling that for me it was not a problem at all,so We agree to see at 6:00 in a corner near her job,but before I cut my hair.
She was wearing a blue-green blouse with the silver necklace I gave her (She seems to love that gift and wears it as many times as possible) and her blue jeans I love the way She looks with jeans is really breathtaking, I have to say that I was not feeling really good in fact I had a low in the pressure When We were in the coffe shop, but besides that I was in the attitude of "nothing can hurt me from her", so I was acting cold as possible.
She told me that what She did over the time I haven`t seen her and the time I haven`t look for her, she also told me that She went out with some friends (ex-love included).
Well I have to say that I am normally cheerful and really charming at having conversations but this time I was really simple in fact I didn`t tell her all the things I did over my time off, She was the one telling me what She did, probably also it was that I was feeling not so good, I asked her to write some words and a drawings just for fun (sometimes I can describe emotions or conducts by seeing handwriting and lines from a person, I used to study that with a nice teacher of Arts)..well We had a good time I have to say but as I said I kept it as a normal date with a friend.
I have to say that I really love her, I saw her today and I was looking at her lips all the time.
She told me that next time She has something to tell me, and I also told her that I need also something else to say to her, obviously I told her that I will do it after what She has to say to me, (I am thinking in telling her that I won`t see her again, I mean not as a friend I am tired to just be the nice friend listening, I am not being selfish but I just want to stop myself from hurting me more, I mean it is obvious to me that it has passed 8 months, enough time to make her mind, so if She can not have a definitive choice I will just withdraw or at least stop seeing her till She finally takes her decision, I mean why to date a person you die for If the person is not really taking a decision). I do not know probably I will chicken out and won`t say anything ..well who knows.
Probably what She has to tell me is that She has a decision good or bad but a decision or probably She will tell me something non related to the situation.
Next time We will have dinner in a Chinese place (She has never eaten chinese food). hahah well I love her and I love the way She smells!!.
I was wearing blue jeans an a nice Diesel black shirt with stripes in the arms.

So as you can see I took the day off!!
Have a great time!!...JESUS ANTONIO

2 comments:

Sask 1 said...

You cant help who you love.
June

antonio said...

hahah I am still lost!! hahah Thanks for the words!!..JESUS ANTONIO